"My Own Monster" is a song written by Katy Perry (then Katy Hudson) for her self-titled debut album, Katy Hudson. The song is about Hudson's "struggle with her problems with fear" and the monster is metaphorically fear itself.
Hudson explained the meaning of the song on her site in 2001.
- "After asking kids in a joking kind of way if they still had nightlights, they responded with a cheer, after I exposed one of my more personal secrets with them, that I too struggle with fear. One night I realized I needed God "to help me, to hold me," as the chorus says. Growing up, my parents would tell me to pray when I got scared, and to tell the devil to flee. I remembered all that and wanted to write about how I find my refuge underneath His wings. You can't open up to fear, it'll eat you up."
I turn my head there's nothing there
All I own is my thoughts for my fears
I close the door to keep out the bad
I plug my ears to keep out these fears
And I cry.
So hold me close for
I'm so tired of holding myself
So very tired and tired, tired and tired
Just hold me
I listen to these voices or is it this house that's giving me chills?
As I lie upon this little girl's bed
Who's at the door?
Who's walking near?
Or has my imagination spilled?
This little girl all grown up still fears
Oh and I cry.
Where can I go where can I hide from these evil sufferings?
Oh these images painted on my walls
They say there's a place that I can hide in the shadow of Your wings
Oh Lord, bring me to this place of refuge
No more tears.